In what locals are calling “the avocado rampage of Nkhata Bay,” police have arrested a 72-year-old American tourist after he allegedly went on a bizarre, fruit-fueled tantrum at a lakeside lodge on Saturday night.
The suspect, identified as Timothy Allan from California, reportedly lost his cool around 10 p.m. at Chuma Ndi Mphepo Lodge after being told that his “favorite room” had already been taken. What followed, witnesses say, was “a meltdown worthy of a Hollywood drama.”
According to police, Allan — a regular customer at the resort — stormed into the occupied room, armed not with fists or fury, but with an avocado pear. In an act of protest, he allegedly smeared the creamy green fruit across the wall “like modern art gone wrong,” then broke the door lock and water tap for good measure.
But the madness didn’t stop there. In what officers have described as “a deliberate act of revenge,” the septuagenarian reportedly stuffed all the beddings into the flush toilet and soaked them beyond redemption.
The total damage? MK225,000 — and, according to staff, “a smell of avocado that may never leave.”
Police from Nkhata Bay swooped in shortly after the chaos erupted, arresting the furious foreigner right at the lodge.
“He was calm by the time we arrived,” said Sergeant Devoter Mithi, Deputy Public Relations Officer for Nkhata Bay Police. “But the scene looked like a blender exploded — water everywhere, fruit on the wall, and guests in disbelief.”
Allan is now cooling off in police custody, where officers hope the only thing he’s smashing is his own regret. He is expected to appear in court soon once paperwork is finalized.
Locals, meanwhile, are still scratching their heads over how a small room dispute spiraled into what one witness called “the most dramatic act of avocado diplomacy ever witnessed in Nkhata Bay.”
