Joke Joab indeed! In what can only be described as political stand-up comedy, the UTM party—yes, the same one led by Dalitso Kabambe with more volume than votes—is now boldly claiming it will form government in September 2025. But wait for the punchline: the party is only fielding 61 parliamentary candidates out of a possible 241. That’s not even a quarter of the constituencies. Meaning in 181 areas, UTM is just… absent.
“Tell me this isn’t satire,” quipped senior political analyst John Masina of the Shire Times. “They say their leader is winning the presidency, yet they don’t even have MPs lined up to help run the show. It’s like trying to win a football match without players on the field.”
Masina acknowledged the party’s fighting spirit—tracing it back to the late SKC—but stressed that passion isn’t enough to govern. “UTM is simply too junior, too shaky, and far too amateur to stand toe-to-toe with giants like MCP and DPP. Maybe they’ll mature in 20 years, but right now, it’s like sending a schoolboy to a heavyweight boxing match.”
Even more telling, he added, is the party’s struggle to attract candidates nationwide. “If people aren’t lining up to represent you, it’s because they don’t believe in your ticket. That’s not power—it’s a participation trophy.”
With only months to go before the September showdown, Masina summed it up bluntly: “This is MCP’s battle to defend, with DPP right behind. UTM? They’re just warming the bench, hoping for a miracle.”
